Don't Seek Acceptance

For weeks, I’ve been wondering about my social reaction like I am really introvert , really shy, could not enjoy the crowd or anything. An old friend texted me and asked me  what’s wrong I told her everything she told me what she’s doing now and bla... She said that my problem is all my mindset, that I put to much pressure to my self, I want people’s acceptance,  and that’s so wrong. Do not ever blame your character, the introvert can be very rebellious, genius, and make people jealous why are them so mysterious.. sounds so funny yet so true. As long as you do not hurt anyone, when you feel your existence is nothing like you are the alien that  come from Saturn that does not matter at all. Be kind, be so good. Try harder. Work professionally and know your value. That mindset puts you down so stay true to your self, you do not  have to change at all.  Just be you, the way you are. I’m talking  to my self and you.. the introvert. Like seeing the sand path after walking barefoot on the pebbles right? relief. 

HOW "INTROVERT" I am??

Seems like I am a bit stressful these days or the truth is I realized many things related to my social reaction or I am just being overthinking. Let me consider it as a self-introspection.

I began conscious of  it since I saw everyone is so confident about them selves at my workplace. So far, after I graduated college I felt that I never built any close friendship then I ended up lonely and have no one to talk or just to hang out. I always thought that I could not approach people in easy way, In fact,, I am frightened that they did not feel comfortable when I am around. Am I being too serious? Or maybe something about my facial expression? I don't know the answer and it made me sooo frustrated. 

I can't stand in crowd or even in group discussion between 5 or 6 people, I always feel that I am not in, I choose to be in silent and always listen even tough I have many things to say, too bad I am too lazy over a little disputation. I could not enjoy the crowded cafe, restaurant, I always want to be alone. I am not being easy allowing someone know the other side of me. I think the won't understand. I don't trust people ... Hhmm..

I feel a little relief after writing what's on my mind and the important thing what's in my heart so far.

how to overcome all my funny self-problems...